Monday, September 29, 2008

Squirrels in my Attack

Some writing errors are so egregious and funny that they need to celebrated, not edited. In my previous post I, hurried and tired, I wrote that I had "squirrels in my attack." On Sunday morning Heather H. asked me what I meant by that.

Drum roll please ... I meant that I had squirrels in my ATTIC. I was so pleased that I spelled squirrel correctly on my first try that I paid no attention to my semi-phonic spelling of "attic."

I've decided that I really like the phrase, though. So now I'm trying to find an appropriate meaning to attach to it. If you have any ideas, just leave them in the comment section. (i.e. Yesterday's sermon was awesome, I had squirrels in my attack.")

Meanwhile, last night the Mountain Mission Choir came to Grandview and did a great job. They really filled the room with sound. They sang like they had squirrels in their attack.

Even more than that, they are amazingly polite. You've never been around a larger group of polite teens in your life.It's possible that someone could say, "They're only polite because the school warns them to be polite." To which I would say, "O.K. That's fine with me."

Our world could use a good dose of politeness, even if it isn't genuine.
If you ever visit Mountain Mission School, though, you'll find that they are taught to be polite from the first time they step onto campus. I've only visited campus once. I was on my way into the cafeteria when a group of 3rd graders approached the doors. I held the door for the class and every single child thanked me as he or she passed. No adult told them to do that (not in that moment, anyway). The school does a great job of bringing together kids from Ethiopia and Grundy and turning them into a single choir.
On a completely different topic: This week I don't teach! This was my last cohort for awhile (ever?). I gave my notice. My schedule has just gotten too rough to continue teaching at Milligan and I really, really, need to work on my dissertation. The issue isn't just one of time, it's one of sphizerinctim (Don't ask what that word means. I have no idea how to spell it and it seems to be an old East Tennessee word for a certain "it" quality). If you over-schedule your life you just don't have the pepper for dissertation work.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love it!! I read it and re-read it when you first wrote it, but I, too, was too tired to think more about it or question it further. Yes, I've had squirrels in my attack before as well. I think the meaning goes hand-in-hand with the phrase "the best laid plans of mice (or other vermin, squirrels included) and men...."

Joel said...

Ask Denny about "sphizerintim." He should be able to give a definition.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Janni. The phrase "squirrels in my attack" is a classic and poetic way to talk about plans that fail do to the unforseen chaos of life.

I think it was from the second soliloquy of Henry XXth by Shakespeare. This was the speach he delivered just after his mid-night assault was thwarted by the raucous chirping of a nest of squirrels living inside an underused siege tower. My memory is fuzzy but I am sure the line was something like.

My troops alas were beaten back
by unseen squirrels in my attack.

I cry a little even now as I remember the pathos of that scene

Susanna said...

After carrying acorns around in my pockets for a few days, I was alarmed to find squirrels in my attack.

Anonymous said...

After suffering through the painful sphizerinctim, the proctologist sternly cautioned me to avoid squirrels in my attack on fiber. - Eric

Lyrrad Skoorb said...

I noticed this is your comments about "squirrels in your attack"...

"This was my last cohort for awhile (ever?)."

Did you do it again? I don't understand the use of the word "cohort".

Perhaps you were thinking about the attack of a squirrel and some of his cohorts. ??

Anonymous said...

I once had a house on the market for over a year after I moved out of it. Finally, it sold. Before meeting the new owners on the day of closing, I went by the house to get the broom and other cleaning items I had left, only to find that a squirrel had entered via the chimney AND DESTROYED MORE THAN HALF OF ALL WOODEN WINDOW FRAMES AND OUTSIDE DOORWAYS. No lie. I have pictures. He then had the audacity to curl up and die (from exhaustion or varnish poisoning, I don't know which) in the bath trashcan, which caused the house to reek.

I had always thought squirrels were cute. However, on my way out of the neighborhood to deliver the news to the supposed buyers, I saw a dead squirrel in the road. I ran over him anyway.

I think this story somehow fits perfectly with the new phrase "squirrels in my attack."

Anonymous said...

Missy had squirrels in her attack while jogging with Connie - fortunately she was able to make it to the safe haven of the Nicholsons.

Aaron said...

Thanks for all of the great comments! You all made me chuckle several times yesterday.

It's good to discover that some people actually read this thing.

Janni: Great squirrel story. Cindy even came into the room this morning chuckling about it.

Joel: Denny won't just tell me what the word means, he'll find a Lutheran hymn that goes with the theme.

Ethan: Your Shakespearean interpretation will soon be incorporated into the blog background.

Hotsy: You are far too fashion-aware to carry acorns in your pockets ... but then ... maybe they would remind you of the students you had last year.

Lyrrad: The course I teach (taught!) at Milligan was given to "cohorts". The interesting thing about students going through a degree program in cohorts is that they develop their own idiosyncrasies and you, the teacher, step into the middle of it unaware. Some cohorts are very whiny. Some just hate you too much to bother complaining. This one, though, seemed pretty balanced.

Anonymous said...

Aaron, ask me who Lyrrad Skoorb is. And I have many squirrel attack stories to tell you, too many to type here...several from friend Jeri P. and one especially from my spouse's 'in-our-house' experience.
I too had wondered if you really meant 'squirrels in your attack' but you're so creative that I thought it was a new metaphor you'd thought up and I was just too dense to get it! Whahaha! Lorac Skoorb Sirron

Anonymous said...

If I were mounting an attack on the ogre of the Dark Forest, I would definitely want the squirrels in it. They are tough, can get anywhere, and most importantly, they bounce when they fall. No lie. Also they like me... I was once walking down the street and one crawled up my leg.

Also "Squirrels in my attack" make me think of car engines, since my dad claimed that squirrels on wheels were what made my first car run. As we drove over the Rockies, he would cry "Mush, squirrels, mush!" Attack would be a good SUV name.

:)