Confidence in God

Jim Jackson stands about 6'4", smiles with ease, exudes statesmanship, and owns the ability to shift the attention to his agenda in almost every conversation (a dangerous gift if used improperly). I met Jackson in Houston when the Beeson students traveled there in January. A few of us were chatting with him in yet another church foyer during our rapid fire tour of the Houston church scene.

Jackson spoke with the sly look of a man about to use a bullhorn voice to say something confidential, "The biggest problem with pastors today," he sounded a little like Foghorn Leghorn, "I say the biggest problem with pastors today is that they are timid. We're going to be judged for that. All you need to do is read 2 Corinthians 3:12 and 1 Timothy 1 to know that."

"I was afraid of that," I replied with sarcasm. I was pleased when he laughed. One takes huge risks being sarcastic with strangers.

What he said stuck with me, though. He was, and is, absolutely right. Christians have no business walking around afraid of what might happen next, afraid of what people think, or afraid that God won't do what God has promised to do.

These thoughts were bouncing around my head afresh last night in the Johnson City Medical Center's ICU waiting room until around 1:30 am. I was sitting with a woman in our congregation whose 78-year-old husband had been rushed into a surgery that doctors feared would take him from us. His wife is no stranger to faith. She is prepared to praise God in life or death. Much preferring, of course, to praise God for life.

What does confidence in God look like in the ICU waiting room at 1:30am? What does boldness look like in that place? I know it doesn't look like pollyannish belief that the surgery will be successful in the way we all long for it to be successful. Being bold doesn't mean denying the real possibility of death.

Boldness means being unafraid to stand in that swirling world of "what if;" being confident that come what may God will be who God has promised to be. Confidence in God means not being embarrassed for trusting God despite the circumstances. Confidence in God means that we believe the Holy Spirit will bring joy even in times of great suffering.

"Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold," Paul tells Timothy.

Great is your God. Sure are his promises. Complete is his victory.

Our 78-year-old saint made it through the surgery, but his recovery from that surgery is not certain. Let us stand before God on his behalf, certain in the hope that makes us bold.

I feel this way today, despite what I wrote in the last post about Mother Teresa. I confess that I am inconsistent. A.E. Whitham once wrote, "To be able to say, 'O, God, I love thee so much' is a grace. To only be able to say, 'O, God, I love thee so little,' is also a grace--and perhaps the preferable one." Maybe the difference is simply that I haven't endured the kind of gut-wrenching evil that Mother Teresa did.

God, we offer you our brother, Charles. Just as he offers himself to you. Glorify your name.