Goodbye, Harry . . .

Second from the left (with the light shining on him) is Harry Jones, one of my coffee shop friends. This picture is from the goodbye party they threw for me at Panera. I reported in this blog that Harry told me he had bigger plans than to be around to welcome me back to Johnson City at the end of my time here at Asbury.

He embarked upon those plans last week. I didn't know Harry for long, the cancer was already hammering away on him when we met. I was drawn to him from the start for two reasons. The first is that he was very gracious toward me. The second is that I'm always impressed by people who die well. It takes great resources to die well. One of the great gifts of God to ministers (I'm not talking about paid/staff ministers, here. This is open to us all.) is the opportunity to be close to people as they die . I suspect that sounds odd, but it's true. In a culture where people tend to die privately we lose something. I want models for dying well.

A faith that doesn't address this is cheapened by the neglect.

I'm reminded of people like Jack Wise, father of Sylvia and Jane-Anne. Jack was a Christian Scientist who refused medicine at the end of his life. The Christian Scientists, despite the criticism they receive, are miles ahead of us on this. They taught him to experience his death. He was present while he died. There is more I would like to say about his death, but (as I have already lamented) we have learned that death is a private affair. I hesitate to say more than that in a forum such as this. I don't want to cheapen something so holy.

Maybe someday I will be able to come up with a list of things to do while we die. The thing is, we have to develop those qualities before the time comes. My friend, Tom Swift, is doing his DMin project on using the Psalms as a devotional guide while dying. The problem he keeps running into is that often, once the news arrives, the person begins to decline too quickly to have the physical ability to do devotionals. I suspect we are already formed by the time the news arrives. I suspect that the key to dying well is living well.

My preliminary, as yet unformed, list of things to do to die well is as follows:

1) Start reading the Psalms now. They need to be in us and at work before the time comes.
2) Be good to people now. Grumpy living leads to grumpy dying.
3) Pray that when the time of testing comes it will be cut short.
4) When the time comes, be open with people who are able to hear what you have to say. I suspect you wouldn't want to cast your pearls before swine, but the people close to you need to be a part of the process.

I've wandered off the topic at hand, which is the death of Harry. Thanks, Harry, for talking to me about your death; for being honest and open about it; for affirming the depth and richness of a faith in Jesus Christ, who rose from the dead so that we who die a death like his might be raised in a resurrection like his.

Until we meet again.