Thoughts on my Defense

The defense is old news now, but I have been wanting to write about the event (more for myself than anything else). It's kind of long, but here it is:


On the morning of my defense I got up early and drove into Lexington for the serenity of early morning Panera. After planting myself in the far corner of the restaurant I opened my computer and finished a newsletter article that my sister had proofed for me (thanks, Georgia). I emailed it to Carla. The article was only four days late.

I shutdown the computer, lifted my dissertation out of my backpack and opened it yet again. I thought it wise to re-read chapters four and five because I figured they would be the source of most of my questions.

I wish I could convey the agony of re-reading something you’ve re-read and re-written so many times. My brain doesn’t really read it. My brain just sits there, arms folded, lips pouting, asking me why I am doing this again. I say, “Come on, just one more time.” But my brain knows we won’t be reading it just one more time. We’ll have changes. We’ll have to proof those changes. We’ll have to print those changes out again. Then we’ll submit those changes for further changes. The loop feels eternal.

While I was re-re-re-reading the dissertation I looked up and saw Dr. Pasquarello on the other side of the restaurant. Doc was sitting at a table reading. I felt honor bound to walk over to his table and cultivate as much goodwill as I could before the defense.

“Hello, Dr. Pasquarello,” I said as I approached his table. He looked up from the newspaper and smiled. “Well, hello.” he was a little surprised. “I’ve read the dissertation already, I promise.” He said, seeming sheepish about reading the sports section before the defense.

“Well …it might be better for me if you hadn’t read it.” I said.

Don’t worry, dear reader, I know I’m a dork at this point. But what does one say? “I’m glad you read it already?” “Why aren’t you wearing a tie?” “Can we possibly work the word ‘trinity’ into THIS conversation, too?” None of those comebacks work either. I said the right thing, no matter how goofy it was.

By 9 a.m. I was back in Wilmore, standing outside BC-116 in the Beeson Center, be-suited, and carrying that same darn dissertation binder.

My mentor, Dr. Lowe, greeted me and said, “Hey man, just like last time. You sit out here while we talk about you. Then we’ll call you in.”

I didn’t feel like sitting in the foyer. I figured I would be sitting for the next hour and a half at least. So I stood and flipped through the dissertation for a little bit, until my brain said, “Seriously, man?! You just told me we would only do it one more time. Let. It. Go.” So I let it go. I set the dissertation down and glanced around the tiny foyer.

My eyes settled on a brochure for the temporarily disbanded Beeson Pastor Program. I opened the brochure to see three or four of my classmates smiling back at me. I tried not to feel diminished by not being good looking enough to be a Beeson Pastor poster boy.

Soon Dr. Tumblin walked through the foyer. He’s the new Grand Poobah of the D.Min. area at Asbury. I don’t know a lot about him, but he seems great for the job. The D.Min. program at Asbury should flourish under his direction. He stopped and chatted with me, recognizing that a guy in a suit, holding a big, white binder can only mean one thing.

“They don’t let you get this far if you aren’t ready. You’ll do fine,” he said, full of reassurance.

I had heard that one before and I believed it to be true; but I also knew that there are exceptions to every rule. One needn’t assume that there is no conceivable way to fail to defend a dissertation. I presume that every now and again someone has to be sacrificed to keep a scare in the remaining students.

Tired of standing, I sat down in the foyer and checked my email on my iPhone, which is silly because if the email was at all important I couldn’t do anything about it anyway. I was just killing time. I checked facebook. I checked twitter. I sighed. I looked around.

Then the moment arrived. I walked into the room with my three committee members greeting me with smiles and handshakes. We talked about the dissertation. They asked me questions. They told me some of the things they wanted me to add. We laughed about some things. Then we stood up and Dr. Lowe shook my hand and said “Congratulations, Doctor.”

I would write more about the actual defense, but it’s a bit of a blur; somewhat anti-climatic (which is how I prefer it). I exited the premises, left a message on Cindy’s phone, and updated my facebook status to proclaim to the facebook world that I had passed the defense.

After that I went back to my room, opened up the computer, and worked on the additions/changes until 10pm.

That’s it!

A New Favorite

I'm still planning on blogging about the defense hearing, but I haven't had time to do it right.

Meanwhile, I've been catching bits and pieces of performances by Jeanne Robertson. She's very funny. I'm hoping to buy one of her CDs when I get around to it. Here's a sample:

Fun News!

Our youngest daughter, Cora, was chosen as Student of the Week for the local news station, WJHL. We were all very excited to see her on the news. Special thanks to Greg Wallace and Principal Stover to choosing her.

If you want to see the news clip, just follow this link.

Good news!

Yesterday's dissertation defense went very well. I would love to blog more about it, but I'm making the requested changes before I leave for home and time is short.

Now all things needing to be done before graduation are just details ... the journey nears its completion.

Thanks for all of your prayers. I appreciate them more than I can say.

Two 4 Two Season Finale'

The end of Spring Two 4 Two has arrived. It was a good ten weeks, thanks to all of the volunteers who make Two 4 Two possible. These are pictures from previous weeks .

Matteus, Brook, and Claire.

Anna, Kara, and friend.

Thanks, Sam, for all of your hard work on the pictures and slideshows.

Ethan and Jim helped, too. Thanks for running the projection booth.

And now, the last slideshow .... we'll be backkkkkkk

A Quick Break for Blogging

Good Saturday morning to you all. I hope this Holy Week has meaningful for you. I confess that it has not been particularly meaningful for me this year. I spent the first part of the week trying to get as much work done as possible. The past day or two have been devoted entirely to completing my dissertation edits. The editing consists of me sitting in a small room, on a hard chair, trying to figure out how to rid sentences of passive voice and intransitive verbs. I also have to figure out how to make the tables look right (Microsoft Word seems to have a mind of its own). I'm not complaining about computers, by the way. I cannot imagine writing a dissertation without computers. Still, I can think of better ways to prepare for Easter morning.

After I post this entry I will get back to work on tomorrow's sermon, then I will pick up the copies of my dissertation, assemble them, give them to my friend Robbie Phillips for delivery to the DMin office on Monday morning, and then I'll drive the 4 1/2 hours home.

I'm looking forward to Easter at Grandview and if you're anywhere near Johnson City we hope to see you there.

Meanwhile, here's the slideshow from Two4Two this week. I promised to get it up on the blog ... sorry it's late.

Two4Two: April 1st, 2009

Here is the slideshow from tonight's Two 4 Two ... we only have two more left in this semester. Enjoy.

At Long Last

We finally have our new Grandview website up and running. Those things take a lot of work!

The new site will allow us to give regular updates of news and upcoming events. Also, the most recent sermons will be accessible on the site.

Hope you enjoy it.

http://www.grandviewchristian.org/

Two 4 Two Last Night

Wonderful evening at Two 4 Two, marred only by the news that Miss Velma has a broken femur (she fell at the doctor's office). Please keep her (and Bob) in your prayers.

Here are the top pics from last night. Labels beneath each picture.

The Grandview Ballet Troup ... coming to a Palm Sunday Service near you!

Jake, David, and Kara ... bro, bro, and sis ... arriving to Two 4 Two.

Such a cute picture of Ella (who doesn't ALWAYS smile for me).

These three, however, are easy smilers. Isaiah, Elliot, and Lola.

Speaking of easy smiles ... I love this picture (my favorite from last night). Cora, Emma, Melanie, Emily, Logan, and Chandler.

Faith and Art

I enjoy reading the blog Stuff Christians Like (it's linked on my page). It is often funny, sometimes serious, and almost always insightful.


I read this post today about artists, fidelity, and our response to God. I thought it was so good that I wanted to link it on this blog.

I wish I was more artistic, but I've found that when the details of an organization start crowding your life, creativity and artistry can too easily be pushed aside.

That said, I've included pictures below of some of the artistry of our Grandview folks. I love this stuff ....
Tom Root's sketches for a series of paintings he is working on for us.

Below are samples of the stained glass windows Betty Taber (member since in back in the 1960s) created for us.

The pulpit, lectern, and communion table come from the minds and skills of our own Garry Smith (designer) and Roger Allman (craftsman/builder)

Beth Bader teaches ballet to some of our girls on Wednesday nights. The results were fantastic and universally loved by the people who were able to witness it.

Sunday's Coming

I've been meaning to post pics from Wednesday night, but haven't had a chance. Look for names beneath the pictures. I haven't learned everybody's name, so I'm sorry if I miss some.Left to Right: Emily, (? I'm pretty sure her name starts with an A), and Chandler.

Cassady, Becky, Matteus, Anna, and Kara.

Seth was proud of his artwork on Wednesday night.

Liz, Shirley, Jim, and Dwight.

Now I'm back to work on tomorrow's sermon, which looks at the text in the Gospel of John when a large group of disciples leave Jesus, Jesus turns to the Twelve disciples and asks, "Do you want to go away too?" It's a touching text.

Two 4 Two Review

Here's the weekly slideshow from Two 4 Two/Rendezvous. Thanks, Sam, for taking the shots and making the slideshow.

Sad Beeson News

Word out of my Asbury friend and current Beeson Pastor, Robbie Phillips, is that due to the collapse of endowments the Beeson Program is being put on hiatus. The current students, like Robbie, will be covered through the end of May, then they will be responsible for the rest of their costs in pursuing their Doctor of Ministry degrees at Asbury.

I feel for the people who have to make the calls to incoming students, students who have already received their books for their first classes. These new students are being told there is no place for them.

The economic collapse threatens all religious schools that rely on endowments. These are trying times for people who manage money at these institutions.

I think the church is about to recover prophetic preaching. Greed and corruption at the top of the system have gone unchecked. But that's too easy a target (even though they are a legitimate target). The greed and corruption aren't limited to CEOs and politicians. We have our own greed at our end of the system that is just as bad, but not as noticeable. We live beyond our means. We don't save. We buy stuff we don't need. If Christians (like me) would live simply, we wouldn't be in this shape.

I hear calls for justice, but in the Old Testament the words righteousness and justice are words that often come in pairs. Any system devoid of righteousness loses it's ability to mete justice. Any person who rises up to point the finger of justice is undercut by his lack of character, his extramarital affairs, his tax-dodging past, his acceptance of bribes. Nothing shuts us up faster than our own past.

My friend Robbie reminded me of this skit on Saturday Night Live. It's as good as any sermon I could preach on the topic:



Farewell, Beeson Program. Thanks for all you did for me and my family. I hope you return someday.

Dissertation Defense Day Determined

Judgment Day approaches. I found out this morning that my defense hearing will be on Tuesday, April 21st, at 9 a.m. Prayers are, of course, appreciated. If you're a regular visitor to this blog, then you'll be reminded of the event as it approaches. I started this blog to chronicle my family's journey to Asbury so I feel a certain symmetry in reporting this. And now to this week's Two 4 Two pictures:

Drew smiling big for me.

Felipe' smiles too.

Elliot and Marin show us the true definition of cute.

Oh no, I can't remember if this is Austin or Caleb. I think It's Austin.

You knew I would have a picture of Caroline.


Jack wants his soda.

Spring emerging on the other side of the sanctuary windows.

Ella adds even more to the Cutie Quotient at church.

When you ask for a smile from Eden, she delivers ... every time!

Dissertation Delight and Two 4 Two

I'm pleased to report that I'm back on track for graduating in May. My mentor approved the copy I sent him and is sending it on to the editor. The editor has two weeks to fill it with red ink and then send it to me. When I receive it I will then have two weeks to "get the red out" (I just thought of that, off the top of my head!) and send it back, in triplicate. Once they receive those three copies they will schedule a defense/hearing (probably during Holy Week). If I make it through the defense they will, most likely, still want some changes made. THEN, if I get THOSE changes made on time, I'll graduate on Saturday, May 23rd.

Phew.

In the meantime, here is the slideshow for Two4Two/Rendezvous this week:

Dissertation Update, Two 4 Two, and Max Miller

First: Dissertation Update: Tomorrow (Friday) is the due date for the mentor approved copy of my dissertation. Sadly, my mentor's mother died this past week and I won't make the deadline. My mentor is a good guy and I am terribly sorry to hear of this turn of events. Feel free to pray for Dr. Lowe. The next, and less important, matter is whether or not I can still try to graduate in May. As far as I can tell, it is still possible. The DMin office is willing to give it a try if I am. So, we'll see.

Second: Two 4 Two: It was great to be back this week. Here are some pics from the night. We were really glad to see Sir Isaac again. We miss you, Isaac.

Meg led the bread-making group.

Jared

Isaiah

Lola

Allisa and Anna

Eden

Ella

Third: Former Emory professor, Max Miller, spoke at Grandview on Tuesday night, delivering the first Kershner Lecture for Emmanuel School of Religon. He was really good. I learned!
Here is incoming president of Emmanuel, Mike Sweeney, introducing Dr. Miller.

And, of course, Dr. Miller himself.

What I'm Working On This Week...

How about I use my blog to plan my week? This is what's up this week:

• Dissertation. I've been gone, essentially, for two weeks. Life has been dissertation and more dissertation. I turned my first full draft into my mentor last Friday. He will let me know what needs to change. If I can make those changes by Friday and get the new dissertation to the editor, then I'll still be hoping to graduate in May. If not ... hello December graduation!

• Administration. Two weeks in Wilmore and the loss of John Marr leave me in administration deficit. I have lots of projects needing attention. The most pressing, the new Grandview website, has been stalled for two weeks. I don't know why, but to get people to do their jobs you sometimes have to call and remind them, email and remind them, and then drop by and ask them what's up. I have other administration activities I have to get my mind around, but I haven't stopped long enough to identify them.

• Max Miller Lecture. Grandview gets to host the first lecture of this week's Emmanuel School of Religion Kershner Lectures. I'm really looking forward to hearing Dr. Miller and am very pleased that we get to host the lecture. But, that means I've got a lot of stuff to get ready for tomorrow night.

• Family. Being gone for two weeks puts a dent in family time as well. Cindy has had a lot on her between taking kids to doctor visits, taking her grandfather to doctor visits (he's in the hospital now), helping me with my dissertation, and trying to work.

There we go. That's a start. Thanks for being a sounding board!

Breaking Blog Silence

Last week I worked exclusively on the dissertation (thanks, Frank*, for preaching for me and thanks, Sam, for Two4Two help!). This week it's dissertation, sermon, and one blog post.

Doctor of Ministry dissertations (at most places) are 5 chapters long. I turned Chapter 4 in last Friday and am working on the final chapter this week. If you're the praying type, I am only too happy to ask you to add that to your prayer list.

I didn't blog last week for two reasons: 1) I really had to get Chapter 4 in by Friday and I needed every little morsel of time, and 2) there isn't much excitement in a week like that, though a couple of blog-worthy moments did arise (when I have time I might type them up, but Chapter 5 looms).

I made it home on Saturday. On Sunday morning we had our Welcome to Grandview class during both hours while Frank did the preaching. On Sunday evening we said goodbye to John and Yvonne, as it was their last Sunday at Grandview. Thankfully, we should still see them plenty. They're just going to First Christian Church where John will be on staff as Minister of Counseling and some other stuff. It's the "other stuff" that always concerns ... I think his official title, like many non-Senior ministers, will be Minister of Shifting Job Descriptions (MSJD, for short).

I have to give a special blog-thanks to Phyllis for stepping into the planning role on such short notice and doing such a fantastic job. Thanks, Phyllis!

We will miss you John and Yvonne! Thanks for sharing your gifts with Grandview.

Entertainment at the goodbye banquet was provided Becky, who always does such a great job of a) lifting the mood of a place, b) adding humor to situations, and c) jabbing tender wounds. If you've never had the chance to be roasted by Becky, I highly recommend it. She was helped by her granddaughter, Norrah.
Entertainment was also provided by Bob Hull. He sang three songs, each appropriate to the occasion. Between Bob and Becky, we had a nice program for saying bye to the Marrs.I'm just inlcuding this picture because I like it. Rollin and Arianna, awaiting Michelle's return from her travels to Gautamala to assist Don and Peggy Orth in cleaning and fixing teeth for people in remote villages.
*Frank is not really what I would call a "blog-reader," but I can thank him even if he won't see it!